So I won't be sending anything for Jackson's retreat. And you already know why. If you'll look around carefully, you'll notice your shenanigans since March 20th have not accomplished much. My life goes on pretty much the same. Tim is simply confused. And you are as clueless now as you were at 11. The only people you've managed to hurt are my mother. And your own children. Neither Jack nor Maren respond to my texts any more. They want nothing to do with the terrible grandfather whose history you have recently been revealing to them, or should I say been fabricating for them. They are the only ones that the tales of your supposedly “drunken” father have really hurt. Shame on you.

Let's take that very worst of the days, shall we. That glorious Wednesday, at 12:20 p.m. 36 years ago. I came to Marymount Junior School to pick you up for our Thanksgiving vacation together. Your idiot mother decided this was the perfect time to cancel yours and my vacation with no notice. She preferred to take you with her new special friend, Beverley, up to Hanford, California. And yes indeed, I did deck her. Right there. Right by the open door to her tidy Kindergarten classroom. Boy, was she mad.

But you're the attorney. You can look up the transcript for yourself. It's filed Woodard vs Woodard, Los Angeles County. Your mom paid thousands for a contempt of court hearing. You might as well benefit from the lavish legal fees. Find out what the judge told her after she dismissed all the charges, right after she saddled your Mom with all the court costs, and then grilled her about the phony medical documentation. I love the law. It's all still there in black and white. Find the judge's final words to your Mom. Please. It was the last time your Mom ever showed her face in family court.

If you bother my 101 year old Mother with any of this shit again, I'll get down to revealing the really good stuff. Shame on you twice.

I'm deeply embarrassed by you. And for the first time in years, I am officially giving you a Time Out. As for Jackson's retreat, I suggest you let him stay home and play video games. You should go on the retreat instead.

Your Disappointed Father.